watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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