Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Bring me that man meat
I came so hard my ears popped.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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