I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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