so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize
