Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
