I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
