forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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