if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
