Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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