She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
