Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
