Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
