Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
