Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize