So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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