So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
