Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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