can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize