i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
