I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
