he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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