Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
