someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
