uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
As shirtless as possible
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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