I hope mine doesn't look like that
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
