so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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