Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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