all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
