Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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