he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
