some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
handjob tips. give me some.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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