Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
