that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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