kristin has been a bad kristin
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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