weddingsv make me drug and hornr
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
