Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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