i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
