she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
