i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
