is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
