The best revenge is premature balding
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
