One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
