you have to choose: penises or morals?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
