omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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