He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
