I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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