I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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