thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
