69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
