Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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