I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
the liver wants what the liver wants
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
