Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
