it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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