HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
