Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
